Someone gets pregnant, someone gets angry, someone gets rejected, and someone gets a smackdown.

Happy holidays!

With Slipknot tearing it up its first week of release and getting tons of love all over the place, it's no wonder most of our mail this week is about the nine masked wonders. Plus someone announces their wedding and we get compliments on Black Stone Cherry.

This week I got mail from Poison's Rikki Rockett challenging Def Leppard's Joe Elliott to a fight. Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure this is for real because it came from Rikki's domain name and it's impossible to spoof that kind of stuff.

I also got email from some schmoe trying to capitalize on Joey Jordison's busted ankle to advance his own career and another from a band with "various talents". I hope one of them is gardening.

Plus more in the Mail Bag.

At least I wish it was. How do you end up with a bunch of rich hippies anyway? I've put together an extra-special Mail Bag today with tons of entries. Yes, I'm making up for letting the ol' Bag run fallow for a few weeks. Feel free to complain to webmaster@roadrunnerrecords.com.

There's lots going on in Roadrunner land. Expect some dark changes to roll out on the site in the coming weeks. Slipknot's also made an appearance now and again and we've been getting a lot of questions about our newer bands like The Parlor Mob. And yes, I'm still a cranky bitch.

Has been tempered by a nice email from Tom T. Also I had a great weekend, so I'll only be Asshole Boy this time around, not Asshole Man.

Your humble webmaster is out to California this week, but I got some parting shots in before my departure.

Yeah, yeah, so we're a bit behind on Ye Olde Mailbag. Screw you, whiners! Today there's some real info in the bag. Also some fake info and me getting cranky (that's really what you come for, right?).

It's true, Mike Gitter does bite my left cheek from time to time. It's always the left cheek. It's annoying and some day I will pour acid between his toes. In the meantime, please enjoy this week's mail bag.

I'd just like to say thank you to what I assume to be the vast majority of Roadrunner fans who are cranky bitches. I like the cranky bitches more because they're entertaining and seem to give a damn. The rest of you quiet people suck.

The letters hit me so hard I caught amnesia and became Mr. Nice Guy. Or is that Mr. Fancy Pants...Mr. Universe? Anyway, there's at least one question this week with a reasonable answer. The rest is for you to laugh or get angry at. If you're one of the letter writers from last week, thanks for the box of roadkill. Love you too!

But the sub-creatures keep emailing me!

I made an effort this week to answer some questions seriously. I'm having a great week, what can I say? Don't worry though. By next week I'm sure I'll be a crank again.

Two long emails this week. One about how Roadrunner ruins bands, another one trying to get us to confirm if some digital personality is Nikki Sixx (how is that dude still relevant).

You know that old aphorism that says there are no stupid questions? Yeah, well...

Should you drop out of high school and start a record label? What about a Roadrunner United DVD? Are you demanding free shit? Couldn't go to Ozzfest? Want to know how much Dream Theater you'll be getting with your Roadrunner? Want to go to Ozzfest? I may or may not answer those questions in this week's mail bag.

Maybe I should stop being surprised at the number of Nickelback emails I get. After all, that email outpaces the #2 email recipient Slipknot by a long shot.

'on't believe everything that you read. You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve.

I am actually informative on a couple of things this week, including where to write to Corey Taylor and how to save your eternal soul.

Not much to go on this week. Maybe I scared all the really interesting writers away?

Seriously! I work at a record label and you know what kind of email I get? Email about alleged pedophiles. Some days it's really strange. Okay, I got some normal-type questions, too, but you wouldn't believe some of the stuff that comes through the inbox.

It is actually the reverse of that. Pretty much the more complaints I get (or the more boneheaded they are) the more fun I am having. And most of the time I am laughing with you. This week: we're in the evil RIAA, people don't like the concept of fan clubs, and one guy lies to me about Slipknot.

Allegations of Nickelback on drugs, complaints about a guy who does interpretive films based on Roadrunner bands, and a message from Iraq.

It took a while to collect some fun emails from people, and even I'm willing to admit these aren't the kind of emails we could have. Maybe people who email us are getting smarter...

In which Roadrunner apparently does not get the internet, a woman commits a cardinal sin against her son, and someone wants a date with Stone Sour.

This week we received a couple of complaints about our actions on YouTube, the way we distribute free MP3s now, and a video game suggestion.

We got some fun messages on our MySpace profile and decided to take this mail bag to answer a few.

Some people were in the hospital, others asked hideously intricate promo CD questions, and the Harp Guy strikes again.

I ended up with a bunch of Nickelback questions in the queue and decided to dedicate this mailbag to our northern musician friends.

Some real crazy in time for Valentine's Day.

't's the first new mailbag of the new year and it's absolutely crecent fresh!

Halloween's almost here, so let's dive into some spoooooky e-mails....or not.

In celebration of a long weekend, here's a short mailbag. Enjoy!

Burning questions answered, with a little bit of fun at a strip club, all in this edition of the mailbag!

Well, there haven't been too many choice mails to the almighty Roadrunner inbox to make much of a fun traditional mailbag this week (There have been a few, but not enough. Get your asses in gear and send whatever comments, queries and wackiness to webmaster@roadrunnerrecords.com today, people!). Being the determined man that I am, I'm still going to give you a top shelf mailbag anyway, but with a twist. These are all questions that were submitted to us for use in the next installment of our ASK THE ARTIST series. The subject this time is Jordan Whelan of Still Remains. All of the fan's questions were collected and only a select few were chosen to be answered by him. The following is a collection of questions that were not submitted to Jordan for one reason or another. Why waste some perfectly good questions, though? I've decided to answer the burning questions that no one thought would be answered by some schmuck instead of Jordan Whelan. Keeping in mind that none of these questions were directed to me or were for me in any way, shape or form, I bring you the first installment of Ask The Mailbag Guy

Ok, so we've been lazy since 2004. Deal with it!

The mailbag is back, without a vengance

We're back with more from you, our ever-trusty fans. Two mailbags in two weeks? Say it ain't so!

Hey all, we know it's been a while. Hopefully you'll forgive us....

What it is? We're back with some more e-mails from our fans. Don't wet yourself.

Well, what the fuck do you know??? The mailbag is back. Instead of going into some sort of detail as to what this issue is about, we are just gonna say the theme is The Vault.

Happy Holidays. Welcome to this edition of the Roadrunner Records mailbag - your emails answered by us...this time we learn more on the art of being an A&R Rep, more on life in England, and...read on...

Well fuckin' look at this - a new Mailbag installment...who would have thought? It's true. Got some good ones for ya this time, so read on...

Welcome to Vol III, 2002 mailbag - your emails answered by us. Herein you will learn where one can stalk a Roadrunner employee, how to submit a demo haiku, how to become a producer, that people in Chile put porn on fansites (and let's face it, it just makes sense), that too many people are starting to email about Scott Stapp, and much, much more...

Welcome to Volume II of the Roadrunner Mailbag for the year 2002. In this issue you will learn all about the chick from the "How Your Remind Me Video", that Nickelback's latest effort was NOT done on cassette, that someone out there thinks Roadrunner needs zippers, the art of sending a demo, the art of the Latin language, and much more...

Happy New Year and welcome back to the Roadrunner Mailbag. New Year's Resolution - this will be updated every two weeks. For this issue, get ready for the Stapp statements, how to write a job inquiry email, how to get pussy for life, little known Anyone info, Nickelback singles, and more...

Back on track...in this bi-weekly issue of mailbag you will learn that The Production Gospel According To Dave predicts heaviness, someone on the Roadrunner A&R staff loves Yoo-Hoo, we have a three time winner, someone has a gig, a load about Slipknot - IOWA IS OUT ON VINYL & new website coming soon - plus much, much more...

so sit back, relax, sham and read...this is Mailbag...

Where the hell does the time go? If you can answer that you are a better man than I. No more excuses...we present to you this latest edition of Mailbag. You will learn the following: Morton Downey Jr turns one onto The Great Kat, that there are some people out there sending us emails saying something other than 'you suck', something to make you think, more on the Scott Stapp (that guy from Creed) answer, that a 3rd grade teacher is rockin to Slipknot, and more...watch out world, we're coming for your children...

Ahhh, this session of Email bag is dedicated to the Slipknot fans out there...it's all about you. Not much on the part of answers from us, but just wanted to share a few emails that have come in during the release week of IOWA. So sit back, this is all about Slipknot, OH, and of course 1 Scott Stapp email (this just couldn't wait until next week)...

Yes, we are now on a true bi-weekly basis for this feature...who'd have ever thought? Well, enjoy...in this session Email bag (emails sent in by YOU and answered by us) you will learn the following: 1) there is a force awaiting to be heard in JERSEY other than garbage trucks, souped up Mustang 5.0's, guys yellin' "booty call", and Chubb Rock, 2) some advice for a budding band, 3) "Heretic" defined, 4) why there are no Swedes on the RR US street team, 5) that you are welcome to give us poll ideas, and much, much more...

Could this be??? A biweekly basis for this??? I think so! Sit back, relax, and enjoy...in this session of Email Bag (emails sent in by YOU and answered by us) - you will you will learn everything you EVER wanted to know about Slipknot, that people are still stoked on King Diamond, that after all the bitching on our message board someone still does not know what Nu Metal is, the name changes behind Dry Kill Logic, how to become an A&R Rep, and much more...

Yes, we are almost getting this down to a bi-weekly basis...almost! Thanks for your patience. In this session of Email Bag (emails sent in by YOU and answered by us) - you will read some serious emails...you will learn that cats in Alaska are crazy about 36 Crazyfists getting signed, that Scott Stapp (that guy from Creed) causes Nightmares, that Satans Whores is one of the best bands PA has to offer, someone in Virginia Beach is impersonating Corey Taylor, that corporate STILL sucks, bands in San Diego are NOT ignored, the reason behind digipaks, and more...

Folks, it has been a while...apologies. Keep coming back, this will be updated on a bi-weekly basis. AND, thanks go out to you cats who have been sending in emails shaming us on the lack of updates on this front! In this session of Email Bag (emails sent in by YOU and answered by us) - you will learn that new Slipknot tracks on Napster aren't necessarily new Slipknot tracks, the correct answer to the line about the NEW Ill Nino mixes, hell has a time, the whereabouts of Obituary, succeeding in understanding, a bit of digi backlash, and much, much more...

In this session of Email Bag (emails sent in by YOU and answered by us) - D. Wilson learns to say 'hello', we all will learn that Corporate Rock Still Sucks, how to guess a band's web address, that World Roadcrew Domination has begun, and more...

In this weeks innagural Email Bag you will learn the truth behind our love affair with Scott Stapp, find that Christ hating devil music can be melodic, where to find Obituary lyrics, and more...